Peri-Anal Strep...yup that's a thing

Before you start this, if you're at all squeamish about gross toddler things and regular bodily functions, or just poop in general, this post is not for you. I have other pleasant and funny stories to read elsewhere...so just quit while you're ahead and go read about dehydrated lemons.

I'm going to start this off by saying this. I know I haven't even begun to hear it all...but sometimes, things come wayyyy out of left field and you take a moment to truly decide if the medical professional delivering whatever prognosis they're giving you that day is a real thing, or if they're just really trying to make themselves laugh.

I have one very vivid memory in life that made me question my trust and acceptance of people's words. This moment was during a Scrabble game, where someone laid out a word and I thought "hmm...I'm not sure I believe that is a) a word and/or b) spelled correctly." So I challenged them and before we got to the dictionary, she said "are you sure? Because the meaning of this word is...(I don't remember what the word was or what she said)" and I decided that her answer made total sense, and I took my challenge back. The moment we moved onto the next person, she confessed she'd made it all up. I was convinced! She convinced me.

So now with kids, we hear strange illness after strange illness - and they're not even strange, but they're just things you wouldn't know about unless you have a child yourself or are young enough to remember. Hand Foot Mouth Syndrome, Slapped Cheek Syndrome, rashes, under-developed tear ducts, etc. You think of all the "normal" stuff - pink eye, head lice, the never ending viral cold...you know.

So ya, last week Lincoln had a pretty rough go of it. He had been complaining that his "butt was owie" for a couple of days. Coincidentally, he also said that his "mouth was owie." I chalked his mouth up as normal because he had bitten his tongue. But his butt...occasionally, he gets backed up and then things hurt, and it's a terrible cycle of "it hurts" and "I don't wanna go poop!" - obviously you gotta poop to make it not hurt. So here I am holding his hands while he cries as he poops and I'm trying to be sympathetic and also get him to poop, and I find myself saying things like "it might hurt a little bit but you'll feel so much better afterwards." And because I'm mommy, he trusts me, and repeats back through teary eyes "it hurt liiiittle bit" - yup buddy! Just keep doing what you're doing!

Well this ramped up significantly and it wasn't just a few tears and some coaching, it was screaming/shaking/breathing heavily/crying - it looked rough. I wouldn't want to feel that way. And then wiping was next level upsetting. But we kept thinking it was digestion because after he got off the toilet, and walked a little funny for a few steps, all was well in his world and he moved on like nothing was the matter. Anyway, after one particularly rough evening, Ben and I finally had him "touch his toes" after bath (a trick his teachers taught us when he was still in the potty training/pullup phase to make wiping easier). The second he bent over, I felt so horrible, because this poor kid had been walking around all week with a really rough situation. He had a pretty serious rash, or so I thought. So I snapped some photos, and yes, for those of you without kiddos...taking pictures of butts, poop, eyeballs, etc becomes just par for the course. The other day, my phone assembled an album that it had pieced together of about 15 of these photos that I had neglected to delete from my history. AND it laid a cute, cheerful song over it all. It was horrifying.

Since it was about 7:30PM on a Saturday, I decided to do a tele/video-health session with Blueberry Pediatrics. If you have kids, this is a lifesaver. I'm not sponsored by them or anything, (I do get $5 off every 10 clicks) but I will shout their name from the rooftops. We have Kaiser - the chances of getting a same-day appt with your Dr are near impossible. AND the chance of you discovering whatever ailment before 5PM hits is like, never. So anyway, I opened my Blueberry app, set up a visit, submitted the photos, and about 30 minutes later I got a call from the Doctor with the prognosis. Here I am thinking she's going to tell me it's a yeast infection, which btw, we could have totally treated because we've already checked off that BINGO square and have the ointment already. But nope, she says, "Lincoln has peri-anal strep." And I'm just like.............come again? "Yup, peri-anal strep - its a strep infection but on the skin, specifically, the anus." "okayyy, so how does one get peri-anal strep?" "Oh" she says, "it's actually easier than you think with toddlers - just think about how much they touch their mouths, and then where those hands go." ..... "Yup, ok, Lincoln has peri-anal strep..." or as I'm calling it, "Strep Butt." Dr Blueberry sent the prescription in to a 24 hour pharmacy down the road, I went and picked up both oral and topical antibiotics, and we started the topical that night. We would have waited until the morning, because Lincoln really didn't seem bothered by it unless something was touching his butt, but sure enough, he woke up shrieking because he had a bit of an accident in his pull-up, and well, that must've stung really bad. The next morning, everything had already looked so much better, so we started the oral antibiotic because he had also been complaining about his mouth.

He's continuing to get better, but as I talk to other parents, and speak with his teachers, and random people I meet, when they ask me "How're the boys" and I relay this parody, literally everyone I've talked to about this have all had the same reaction I have..."I'm sorry, what? Peri-anal what? Butt strep? That's a thing?" And then the natural thought process takes them to "How??" I haven't ever encountered this before, the teachers at his school haven't, the Director of his school has never heard of it...its soooo bizarre!

Diagnoses was Saturday and it's now Wednesday. Lincoln was home yesterday with a cough, because it's just been a relentless season of viral sickness. He slept 5 hours during nap, and then from 7PM to 7:30AM, and he woke up feeling AWESOME! We had a leisurely morning, he went to school, and I kid you not, an hour after I dropped him off, I get a bunch of pictures from school saying he's breaking out in a rash. Poor kid can't catch a break! He had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics he's on - which I actually thought might happen when he first took this antibiotic when he was very little as I was allergic when I was little as well. But anyway, sent pics to Blueberry, they confirmed and changed his prescription. I picked him up as he was finishing lunch, he said "mommy! Let's go to car wash!" (it's pouring rain outside) I said, hey, let's go home first and rest, and then after nap we can go to the car wash if it's not raining. We can play with trains, whatever you want.

And now I'm finishing this up as both boys nap, while I film the washing machine doing a cycle of towels with waterproof LED lights so Lincoln can watch it later.

So ya...peri-anal strep, or Butt Strep. It's a thing. Now you know!

Also, Blueberry Pediatrics - again - it's amazing. We pay $15/month for 24/7 care, $0 copay, you can message any time, and they can send prescriptions on your behalf. We often use it as a check-in to determine if we need to see our PCP or not. If you sign up, you'll get a free kit with a thermometer, otoscope (so you can see inside their ears and record videos to send through) and a pulse ox reader. It's worth its weight in gold, even just to have a line to text suspect poop pics to.